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Friday, August 28, 2015

WHAT HAPPENED!

     We got lazy. It happens. Your desire is to parent God's way. To instill in your kids morals, scriptural truth to be consistent with discipline. Train them up in the way they should go. Show them through your example how WORTH IT it is to walk with Jesus.  Last time you got lazy it wasn't worth it. So what is different this time? I'm glad you asked.
      God has been growing me in the understanding that this walk with Him is not a  one and done thing. We will continually grow till the day of Christ Jesus' return. Each time we screw up, God is ready and willing to give us wisdom and knowledge. So that the current sin can become a FORMER passion of ignorance. (1Peter 1:13-14) We get to sober up from the drunkenness of our idol worship, set our hope FULLY on Jesus and take ACTION one step at a time in grace. Yes, please!
     The night before my birthday Paul and I had a hard conversation. Bed time was terrible but just a symptom of a bigger problem. My husband drew a line in the sand. He said, we have both gotten lazy in our parenting and we need to stop. We know how to parent God's way we just need to be STEADFAST. We talked about some specifics (for my sake) and prayed. He confessed our sin to the Lord and asked for forgiveness. This was a great and scary moment for me. My husband is leading us in obeying God! Always great. I need to follow and be steadfast even when he is gone for 48 hours at a time thats a little scary. The next day (my 34th birthday) he did most of the parenting.


I'm 34

I watched and listened and supported. It has not been easy in the days to follow. There have been failures and successes. Its been a time of retraining for the whole family. God is bringing up root causes for why I have parented my own way in certain areas. The most encouraging thing I have learned in the early stages of this change is found in 1 Peter 5:2-4. This will also answer the question in my title WHAT HAPPENED? Track with me this will be the best part of this post as it is God's WORD!

shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 

     To shepherd means to feed. I feel like I feed my kids all day long! They wake up and the first thing out of our Bear's mouth is can we eat now. To feed our kids goes beyond the struggle to get them to eat the dinner they hate. We are given the calling to nourish them on a heart level. To be the filter over what goes into their little lives. To watch diligently over them which is exercising oversight. What are they watching how are they treating each other. How am we are treating them. We don't want to be micro manager Mom's but we do want to keep a close eye not just with their safety but their hearts. Are we praying for our kids? I will be honest I really struggle with this. I just often, don't. This is basic shepherding of our children. We have to pray for them. I am convince its because it changes me. When I pray for my kids out loud a softening happens in my heart towards them. In the crazy moments that are promised to happen in the day it is good to have a soft shepherding heart towards my gifts from God.
    Next God tells us to do all this willingly and not under compulsion. These are clear opposites and I have parented both ways! When my perspective gets to the place of felling sorry for myself that I have to keep parenting and don't get to have peace and quiet that is a serious red flag. Compulsion is a state of being forced to do something. Some times when it gets hard at home my attitude goes there. Like God is making me get to be the 10% of women in America that get to stay home with their kids and raise them herself. Oh yeah, poor you Jess! So how do we get willing? Ask God to change you. Call a sister in the Lord ask her to pray for you and give you sound perspective. Its helpful to hear someone else say it out loud some times.
     Next up is not doing this shepherding call for shameful gain. Now this passage is geared towards pastor but totally applicable to us parents. What is shameful gain in my world? Mom points. Yep, you know the ones you get when you post an amazing picture on social media and you get a quick, gratifying, amazing response from other mom's, about how amazing you are and how amazing the life is that you are amazingly providing for your kids. Now that was obnoxious I know but that is the state of my heart at times. Obnoxious! Instead of being present with my kids and going on and doing amazing things with them (because that's the call and nothing out of the ordinary) I crave acceptance and praise beyond the Lord's delight in my obedience. Now you may not struggle with social media in the is way I do. It may be people pleasing or pride in so other way. In Mom currency shameful gain would be a payment for your services to your flock that is anything valued above your Lord saying good job. Side note. I have taken a break from posting real time anything on social media. It has helped me be present and not hover above my life but be in it. I felt the Lord say, "go one and take the pictures cause you love that and then just share it with me. No one on this planet will delight over your kids and family moments as much as I do."
      Alright I think the this is the gem of this whole verse! It has made it on my chalk board to pose as a constant reminder of being Mom God's way. So we don't parents for Mom points but we do this calling eagerly without domineering (lording against) over them. Eagerly is translated to alacrity. Alacrity is: a QUICK and CHEERFUL readiness to do something. Oh sweet Jesus pour this out on us Mom's in abundance.
     So we are to be willing and not domineering over those in our charge. Those in our charge is translated GOD'S HERITAGE. Pieces of wood to be used for building something. That is what happened lately in me. I lost respect for the call. I lost sight of the fact that I have been shepherding, feeding, loving and going on hikes with, sweeping up glitter after, playing the dreaded Mommy Daddy game with, disciplining, signing them up for new experiences apart form me, and raising God's heritage. When I read that it was as if God's gently, warm hands cupped my face and turned it to look straight into His eyes. Now got do it Jess. Yes Lord.