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Thursday, July 30, 2015

What does HUMBLE look like!

       I have felt this pressing urgency lately to lay aside pointless things. To fill my pockets of free time with seeking God. I know this is God working in me because I don't desire this on my own. On my own I want to veg out and take a break from existing for just a moment. But lately there is a fire in my very soul and spirit. I am passionate about the lost being saved. Tears are filling my eyes as I type. This morning as I wrote in my journal God gave me something. Its not like any expression I have ever been apart of but I think it might encourage someone else. If not I'm excited about the visual as I function well with word pictures. Some times I think Jesus used parables in the bible just for me...not sure I would get what He was saying otherwise.


     I wish I could describe or illustrate it. I so much desire to put it on, in my life, with my people. Humility. Its like a breast plate for battle. It covers me but is not heavy or seen by the carnal eye. It fits my form perfectly even as my form maybe changing. It is not opaque but iridescent. Completely see though accept when the Light catches it just right. Then you see a beautiful shimmer like nothing on earth. It has hues of pink, purple, and yellow. It will not climb out of my closet on its own and strap itself to me. It is my choice each day to pick it out and put it on. I can't reach to fasten the back of course but in the still of the morning You fasten it for me, while singing over me Your songs of deliverance. As beautiful as my armor is, it is just that ARMOR. Armor is for war. In this war there is no blood shed but a much more serious end. It is a war for souls. You have already won but mankind does not get to share in Your victory unless they choose You as King. Your battle plan for me is to LOVE.  There is a battle over the souls in my very own home. The enemy would kill, steal and destroy all that we love. Ready for battle suited in my iridescent armor I will fight for them with You. You, the One who sang and gently strapped me in this morning. Hand in hand we pray and we love my people. Your work is mighty and mine is simple obedient, my friend my King. I hope one day they will give full allegiance to You the One True King. I pray they allow you to strap on and sing over them and in prayer and conduct. I hope they continue the fight long after I'm gone.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

ANXIETY OVER FALL

     
     This summer as been a life changing one for me. There is life before this summer and life after. The biggest change that God has done is helped me finally get it. "It is for freedom that He set me free." I have heard and read that truth a million times and still I didn't get the simple life changer in it. If it is FOR freedom that I was set free, and  I am bound up in any area, that is not the point. Jesus said on the cross, "IT IS FINISHED." When I accepted that free gift of Him paying for my sin on that cross, "IT IS FINISHED" is applied to me. The life of a christian is not to get more free, it is to walk out that freedom we have already been given. Good thing God doesn't expect us to do this on our own. After Jesus rose from the dead on the third day He hung out for 40 days. Then He went up to heaven through the clouds. Then the HOLY SPIRIT was sent to live in us. The exact same as Jesus on earth but actually residing in our bodies. This is a big deal people! The Holy Spirit isn't the second best next to Jesus. He is the same!
Now if there is any area of bondage in my life it is as if I pick up heavy, rough iron chains and scotch taped them back on my wrist. SERIOUSLY! No thank you.
       Now when I put it that way of course it sound gross but we do it so much and its a sneaky thing. Its like our hands go to work with that tape with out our heads even knowing it! A whole book could be written on this and I'm sure it has. If I ever wrote one I would title it "Scotch Tape and Iron."
       So, I profoundly realized the freedom I already have in Christ and all summer the Spirit has been ridding my hands of tape and holding them as we walk together the straight way of freedom and grace. This mighty work took place while I was in Headwaters with some dear teen aged girls from my church and Abi. It was a girls trip.

        I asked God what He wanted me to do for the next school year with the kids. (I home educate if you don't know me personally) I have not yet enjoyed home educating for any good length of time but I began to get really excited about it for this year as freedom walked out will only cause all that you do to be more enjoyable for yourself but maybe even more for you people. I want that for them.
        This morning as I sat on my deck with the warm moist air hugging me, my heart was in knots. Weather it is artificial anxiety (due to the time of month) or for real I needed to do some business with the Lord about it. "Lord, the geese are flying away and the school bus just beeped its way through the neighborhood. I want to sit down and bawl." I felt impressed to look up ONCE AGAIN Proverbs 3:5-6. I did. Then I felt nudged to keep reading:



        OK, not being wise in my own eyes right now would look like being content with what God has shown me to do next year. Turn away from evil. I read this part and with lolly pop eyes looked at God like what in my life is evil? Lalalallaal. "NOT TRUSTING ME." What that is actually evil, Lord? "Well its not RIGHTEOUS." Oh sheesh. I confessed and moved on in the scripture. The good part is next, healing and refreshment?! Sign me up! It really is so true. Think about the times you had something really big in front of you. You tried the anxious thing making you sick and then finally leaned your whole weight into God on the matter. The Creator of all that we see,  handles it effortlessly and refreshes you in the process. God's way is always better.
       Now I would love prayer over me to walk this truth out. I feel like an emotional teeter-todder on the matter but am determined to trust God with this next season and for the love, enjoy it too. Thanks!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

"Good Little Church Girl"


      So here is my testimony in a nut shell. I went to church with my family growing up. I accepted Jesus in Sunday school and I have had some ups and downs I have basically continued to walk with God since I was a child. I never made any crazy rebellious choices if you compare them to others. I made good choices in high school, I never dated anyone so there wasn't any impurity with boys. I would leave friends houses if they were watching distasteful movies. I mean I was a "good girl." Even into my younger adult years. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Oh, Jess your the one we don't worry about."
    I had always liked being the good girl until I went to Horizon's School of Evangelism right out of High School. They were teaching us one day how to share our testimony in 5 min. If you know me I was like, WHAT!? That didn't seem like much time to me. As I began to prepare to share I realized I don't actually have much to say. Sure, I was molested and God helped me through that but I hadn't lived this wild rebellious life with a super dramatic conversion. For the first time I began to think my testimony wasn't useful for evangelism. It didn't seem as powerful as other people in my class.

      This bothered me but I didn't ever have it settled in my heart. Just accepted it. Then recently I got to go on a trip to Headwaters to visit one of the girls from our church.
She is serving at the CAMP there this summer and I took the girls in her family out to see her. We had such a great time. Before we left I ask God to use me to be an encouragement to them and maybe even challenge them in their walks with Him.
Headwaters area
I think He may have said yes to that but what I didn't expect is how He wanted to use them to encourage me and challenge me in my walk! One of the girls shared on the way up that she struggles with having a boring testimony. She accepted Jesus and has always followed Him. She felt like it wasn't special or useful because it didn't have much to it and that's what God really uses to get peoples attention. I tried to encourage her but I didn't have a very good answer. Truth is I have and still kind thought the same thing about my testimony. I knew this couldn't be true, there can't be testimonies more powerful that other's because that is so us focus and not Savior focused. The whole issue didn't sit well so I asked God for wisdom on it. Here is what I got:

     The reason I didn't think I had a dramatic testimony is that I still didn't get it fully what I have been saved out of. See some of my jealously of people who have really "screwed up" is they get it. They don't seem to struggle with the grace issue like I do. I would read verses like this, Luke 7:47 
Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” and feel like it's not far just because I make better choices and have less to be forgiven of (DANGER!) I don't get to love as much. The problem is that I saw myself as better than a prostitute. Here is the reality. I'm not. Arrogance has kept me from thinking I don't have a powerful testimony. I was looking at the whole thing from a  me perspective instead of a Jesus perspective. No matter how many better choices I made in my life the reality is the same. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). I am NOT a good girl. 
     We in the world put levels and degrees on sin. God doesn't. Do consequences for sin vary well yes and I think that is maybe why we think the gravity of our sin varies with God. Nope. To murder is to transgress or break God's law. To lie is to break God's law and if we break His law/standard in any area we need to be rescued because the sin must be paid for in blood. I have been rescued from Hell. I was headed strait to and eternity of fire and separation from my Creator just like the "bad person." There is no extra measure of grace for those who make good choices. That would be the gospel inside out. There is one choice to be made. Have I acknowledge and believed in my heart and confessed with muy mouth "that Jesus paid the price for my sin? If so, then grace and salvation. 
     Just wanted to share in case anyone else out there had struggled with the same thing. Blessings on your day! 

Gal. 3
10 For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse; for it is written, “Cursedis everyone who does not continue in all things which are written in the book of the law, to do them.”[e] 11 But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.”[f] 12 Yet the law is not of faith, but “the man who does them shall live by them.”[g]
13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”[h]), 14 that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Mission Lower Cabin

The deck over looks a cleared field hemmed in by trees.
Often you can see deer grazing there
          Paul and I met while serving at YDI's Head Water's Lodge. We both fave crazy stories about how we even got to the camp. You may have seen pictures on my FB of our recent family trip and my girls trip out to Head Waters, VA. For the family trip we got to go back with our kids to the place it all began for vacation! We stayed in the Lower Cabin. There are two cabins that the ministry makes available for FREE for individuals and family's that are in ministry and looking for a place to get away and rest. That is just what happens. When you pull up to the property your soul exhales. Your phone stopped receiving reception several miles back and its almost as if time has stood still in the hills of Highland County.
     You can check out the ministry on there web site HERE if you like. When Paul and I met out at the Lodge we couldn't stand each other then we became friends and well ten years later are living out a wonderful marriage with 3 great kids! We got to go back and visit once before Abi was born and hadn't been back since then.
Our visit 4 years ago. 

We stayed with long time friends the Howdyshell's
who were still serving at the camp at the time.
The guys went frog gigging. 

      The Lower Cabin has a special place in my heart as well as countless others. It was the first place I lived when I moved to the Lodge. I got to be a Doulos leader. Doulos is a program YDI has for
teens that want to serve at the camp during the summer months and be discipled. They work hard and get massive doses of great teaching on God's word. 
     While we were in the Cabin God began a fire in my heart to care for it. I have never before felt a calling to something so tangible as a single building but it can't be ignored. We talked with leadership there at the the camp and were given a full go ahead on doing anything we like to fix it up.
     Its a wonderful little house built in the civil war area. It has modern updates already like running water, functional kitchen and bathroom and even a washer and dryer!
     The things Paul and I would like to do to fix it up would be build railing for the two lofts to make it a safer place especially for family's with small kids. We want to purchase dishes and make some furniture (by we make I mean Paul will make the furniture!). Hang curtains, get some good candles, bed fraims, new mattresses, and maybe even a futon. Maybe hang a few of my scripture PAINTINGS.
     Paul and I have set aside some money but are limited in our finances to accomplish the vision. I wanted to see if there were any that would want to partner with us. Paul and I would do the work we just need help with materials and travel. We would like to get back out there in the fall to start some of the renovations. Any donation would be tax deductible so that is a nice added bonus! We have one other family interested in partnering so we are hopeful God will call several more.
     As we were just out there we know that gas alone is around $300. We can use many materials there for railing but everything else we would like to purchase and bring with us.
     Will you partner with us in fixing up a beloved space for the purpose of being still and meeting with the Lord for refreshment?

If you would like to partner in this work you can send checks to:
Youth Development Inc.
117 Sparrow Lane

Head Waters, VA 24442
Make sure to write in the memo: Lower Cabin
back side of the cabin

upper left is one of the railings that need to be redone and made safer

view from kitchen to living room


Free range chickens. 

living room

living room

kitchen

hall way

upstairs loft

bathroom
Wood fire place was our favorite spot to drink morning coffee


Abi looking of the back deck while Duke
chews on a deer skull. 

This is the upper cabin behind the kids. Not working on that yet
maybe one day 

I took a few shots as we drove to the Miller's Store




Our boys being silly on the deck