Back on Social Media

When I deleted my FB account I held it with an open hand. I knew I needed to to obey and it has been great 2 months with out it. I have made an account this week for the soul purpose of painting. You can't have a FB Page with out a personal page so I gave myself the name of Abide Scripts. My purpose in doing this is to reconnect with people wanting scripture painted on canvas. Since shutting down the business of Abide Scripts I haven't painted much. Its been a year of getting my priorities straight. The volume of painting I was doing was not working for the amount of time I truly had to devote to this ministry. It was good to dive into the school year with the kids and not have the added pressure of painting. School is going really well! Thank you Jesus! I have gotten organized and feel it is time and God has lead me to reach out and make my self available to paint again. I am really excited as I have already gotten to paint 2 canvas' and have a request for more. It is a little embarrassing to declare I am deleting my FB only to re-loanch it again in 2 months but I am determined to obey the Lord and I do believe He has lead in this direction. You can pray for me as FB was a major temptation to use as a coping mechanism instead of going to Jesus. I am garden about using it for painting. I am sharing life pictures on Instagram these days but will be keeping my FB strictly for Abide Scripts use. Just wanted to share the heart behind all the back and forth. I hope this post finds you blessed and continuing to dig into God's powerful word daily!

Mom Size Tragedy

      I love pictures of my kids. Classic Mom, right? Some people take more pictures that others. I have always been a big picture taker. I do have a bent towards documenting but there is another motivation factor for me. DOOGIE HOWSER!

 I am not even joking. Doogie Howser, not that I was allowed to watch the show but when I was 9 I had a dream and his face was as clear as can be. So what? Right? That's just silly and no big deal.
     Even though Doogie is not a face I care anything about it was the first and only time so far in my life that I could see a face when dreaming or think of anyone. I can't see faces unless they are in front of me or in a picture. I have no idea why but as a result pictures have taken not only a special but important place in my heart.
     Last week we were out in the country on the property of some friends. It was a hunting party! Us gals hung out and the guys went out to shoot deer. It was super fun.

Self with a horse, new one for me! 

I brought my big camera in hopes to get some good shots of the kids in an environment we all prefer over the city. Boy did I get great shots. There was one in particular that I was determine to actually print and frame! Bear was up on Stormie's back with the biggest smile! Right as I snapped the shot Stormie yawned looking as if he was smiling too. Oh and the sun was beaming in behind them! It was a great shot. I got home that night and uploaded my pictures. Sure that they all uploaded I decided to format my disk since I hadn't done it in a while. I had a little check in my heart to to wait but I decided to push the button any ways.
     Well, for the first time I only got a partial uploaded onto my computer and I lost "the shot." I was so disappointed. I literally got mad and then cried. I cried a lot. I may have been crying out the weight of other life issues, you know how that goes. Finally, the thought accused to me maybe God has a purpose in this. So I asked. What was the point of that! I'm so mad at myself and disappointed! I know that in the whole of life this is stupid but I mattered to me! I felt the Spirit promoted my heart to look at the pictures I did upload. So I did. With tear filled eyes I saw it. The better "the shot" picture. It wasn't a picture of Bear who really wasn't that into the horses anyways. He brushed them for 5 min. and asked if he could go do something else. When He saw that Troy and Abi got to sit on the horse he ran back to sit too. Troy, is our kid that loves nature more that the rest. I love this about him. It seems our strongest connection right now as he is in a new phase of life. It's not my favorite that we have been through. I hear its normal but it takes a great deal of patience and discernment on our part as parents. He is almost 8. I'm sure this will be nothing when he is 13 but for me, right now its challenging.
     This picture captured the part of my son that I need to keep at the forefront of my mind as we go through our days of schooling, discipline, training and playing.

     God made this kid in His image. Troy loves God's creation and it is a giant blessing in my life. He was at that horses gate long before time to brush them and long after. Talking to them and admiring their beauty. This is the shot that God knew I NEEDED. Like my heart and my focus in loving my son in a not so lovable season is better off for the "amazing shot" getting deleted. I was so distracted by "the shot" I didn't even see this one.
     I have the this picture as my desk top to remind me that God does see and care about my Mom size tragedy but if I will put Him ever before me I shall not be shaken (Ps. 16:8) I could have shaken my fist at God and blamed my blunder on Him. In my pride I may have done that at other times but God has been teaching the great importance of humility lately. That its the soil that grace takes root in. I don't want grace to bounce of my pride I want to to soft humble soil for God to plant His grace into that He might harvest fruit for His kingdom.

"Humility is the only soil in which the graces root; the lack of humility is the sufficient explanation of every defect and failure. Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone takes the right attitude before God, and allows Him as God to do all." -Andrew Murray 

People Pleasing

     The teenage girls in my church asked me if I would teach them the Word. We have been meeting weekly since the mid-summer. I am so blessed that God would add this to my life. I love doing life with these girls.  I had let it go that I would ever get to teach girls again. These particular girls are truly seeking Jesus. It is so refreshing to hear their hearts and struggles and go to God's word together for the answers. I have been giving the girls opportunity to teach as well. This last week the youngest of the group taught us out of 1 Peter 5. She said something that caught my attention. "We need to be prepared to fail." She said Peter failed big time and so does she. Her humility was beautiful and somewhat uncomfortable for me.
      I have been a pretty faithful student of the Word for some time now but there is still this thing that happens. I can know something intellectually all day long but unless I humble myself under that truth it doesn't get to affect my life the way God intends it to and I miss out. In other words I have the grace of God but it is to no affect if I don't let it come in a rearrange my thinking and therefore living. I want to be able to say with Paul: But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I work harder than all of them- yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 1Cor.15:10 
     So back to the comment made by this sweet teenager. "We need to prepare to fail." I have wrestled over this because I know that this should resound in my soul and "Amen" should come out of my mouth but my gut reaction to this and even after much prayer is, "HUH?" In the study time with the gals we talked about humility. How so often humility comes after a time of suffering. I have found this to be true in my own life. I also have found that humility is the most unnatural state of heart there is for me in my flesh. Now this lack of humility has been manifesting its fruit of corruption in some areas of my life. The one I'd like to share about is parenting.

    I am constantly disillusioned in my life that I am not a perfect Mom. When I don't know what to do with my kids or I do know how to handle a situation and instead choose to be lazy or out of control emotionally I recognize it and.........this is were I go wrong. I have this standard of perfection set up for myself and when I don't meet it (every single day) I am disappointed. I beat myself up with guilt and then downward spiral into self-pity. This has an appearance of repentance but it is not. Repentance is seeing our wrong and look next to Jesus. What I do is see my wrong and keep my gaze on myself which results in guilt.
      I have this lie that I have believed most of my life. "If I want to be accepted (which I desperately do) I need to get it right, all of it." I have been telling myself this lie as if it where the gospel. "To get grace you have to earn it." WHAT! When I step back and compare this to all of my knowledge of God's Word its down right stupid. But the thing about lies is that they aren't always smart yet somehow they get a hook in our thinking that cannot be undone with out filtering that think through truth found ONLY in our bibles.
     So this scrambled inside out gospel is really not good news at all. There is no room for humility and preparing to fail. There is only try harder, strive, and prove your worth loving and being accepted. This gets messy and exhausting when you have 3 immature humans in your charge and their approval of you and your choices shifts like the wind because they are 7, 5 and 4. The reality that we cannot live our lives in fear of others opinions comes home real quick. Well I wish it had been real quick. I has actually taken me almost 8 years to see this one.
     To wrap up this post, If I am believing any other gospel the true gospel found in the Word (by grace I have been saved not of my works) I am going to live a scrambled inside out life. One that strives for something that has already been freely given, acceptance and grace.  I am going to sway to the whims of opinions all around me even those of the tiny people I have been called to lead not follow. The real tragedy of people pleasing is that we choose shifting acceptance man instead of unchanging love and intimacy with the Father. I want to sew to the Spirit and reap everlasting life both sides of heaven. I do not want to sew to my own gospel, my version of right, my flesh and reap the all to familiar corruption.

Gal. 6
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Gal. 1

10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

WHY I'M DELETING MY FACE BOOK ACCOUNT

   The shortest answer is, BECAUSE I WANT TO. Seriously! I know its so not the normal. Face book has so many wonderful aspects. I love that I have gotten in contact with people from seasons past. I love the messaging. I love seeing the wonderful things people are doing with their lives. You can log on to so many things easily with your FB account. The list goes on. So why in the word would I purposefully give up something so great. Because, I am easily distracted. It is easy for me to log on and have 30 min. go by just zoning out and not even realize it. I have used it to cope with life. Dangerous. Just like any other (food, spending money, working out, drugs, alcohol, sex) coping mechanism apart from Jesus is dangerous. I struggle with pride on a regular basis. FB is a great outlet for me to show off. Not good.  I have also struggled much with (Though I have had serious victory lately) envy. Wanting what other's have for myself. Easy for me to do when I am seeing snapshots of what others have or get to experience.
     Now I have been asked why not just limit yourself access to it so as to keep those heart issues in check. That is totally one way to go about it and I assume that many people do that. I have in the past.   Over the last month I have been limiting myself and have enjoyed my real life so much more. When I am mindful of what I will post regarding events or moments in mine and my families life I find that I hover over the experience instead of being present in it.
     I DO NOT feel convicted that this is some thing God is calling me to do. I have prayed much about it and believe His answer on this one is, " you pick."  "Either way is OK." So, I pick delete. I want to be free of this particular pull in my life and gather up all those lost minutes. I want to use those minutes to call a friend and connect on a deep heart level. Or maybe play my guitar again. Or read a book! Eh... that probably won't happen but who knows maybe. Also this parenting thing is getting harder. It requires less diapers and carrying babies around but way more heart investment. I want to spend my energy on that instead. I only have so many unscheduled or free minutes in the day Face book is not longer a way that I want to spend them. Let me be clear I am not anti FB. This is just my desire for myself. If you love FB by all means go on loving it! Maybe I will open a new account in the future I don't know but for today, I am choosing delete and I am really excited about it.
     I just wanted to share so that if you were a FB friend and couldn't find me you knew why. Now if you are my FB friend and would like to stay in contact please message me in the next week. Give me your email and number because I would love to stay in contact too.
    Something else that I will just have to trust the Lord with is this blog. I do write in hopes to encourage and build others up. Most of the views for this blog come directly from FB. So if you would like to know when I post please enter in your email over on the right so you can get notifications when I have posted. If I ever write something and it encourages you and you want to pass it on by all means feel free to post it on your FB. Because remember I'm not anti FB :) This blog is for God's glory anyways...its not about how many people read it but I want to obey as He has clearly called me to write. If its only for one person and that person is me...OK!
      So that is it. I hope to interact with you my beloved reader here on this blog or through email or the phone. I may even start writing real letters again! That's could be fun! So this is me signing off FB. Bye <3

I didn't really know what picture to put with this post...ah how
about this one...I love this one! lol

WHAT HAPPENED!

     We got lazy. It happens. Your desire is to parent God's way. To instill in your kids morals, scriptural truth to be consistent with discipline. Train them up in the way they should go. Show them through your example how WORTH IT it is to walk with Jesus.  Last time you got lazy it wasn't worth it. So what is different this time? I'm glad you asked.
      God has been growing me in the understanding that this walk with Him is not a  one and done thing. We will continually grow till the day of Christ Jesus' return. Each time we screw up, God is ready and willing to give us wisdom and knowledge. So that the current sin can become a FORMER passion of ignorance. (1Peter 1:13-14) We get to sober up from the drunkenness of our idol worship, set our hope FULLY on Jesus and take ACTION one step at a time in grace. Yes, please!
     The night before my birthday Paul and I had a hard conversation. Bed time was terrible but just a symptom of a bigger problem. My husband drew a line in the sand. He said, we have both gotten lazy in our parenting and we need to stop. We know how to parent God's way we just need to be STEADFAST. We talked about some specifics (for my sake) and prayed. He confessed our sin to the Lord and asked for forgiveness. This was a great and scary moment for me. My husband is leading us in obeying God! Always great. I need to follow and be steadfast even when he is gone for 48 hours at a time thats a little scary. The next day (my 34th birthday) he did most of the parenting.

I'm 34

I watched and listened and supported. It has not been easy in the days to follow. There have been failures and successes. Its been a time of retraining for the whole family. God is bringing up root causes for why I have parented my own way in certain areas. The most encouraging thing I have learned in the early stages of this change is found in 1 Peter 5:2-4. This will also answer the question in my title WHAT HAPPENED? Track with me this will be the best part of this post as it is God's WORD!

shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 

     To shepherd means to feed. I feel like I feed my kids all day long! They wake up and the first thing out of our Bear's mouth is can we eat now. To feed our kids goes beyond the struggle to get them to eat the dinner they hate. We are given the calling to nourish them on a heart level. To be the filter over what goes into their little lives. To watch diligently over them which is exercising oversight. What are they watching how are they treating each other. How am we are treating them. We don't want to be micro manager Mom's but we do want to keep a close eye not just with their safety but their hearts. Are we praying for our kids? I will be honest I really struggle with this. I just often, don't. This is basic shepherding of our children. We have to pray for them. I am convince its because it changes me. When I pray for my kids out loud a softening happens in my heart towards them. In the crazy moments that are promised to happen in the day it is good to have a soft shepherding heart towards my gifts from God.
    Next God tells us to do all this willingly and not under compulsion. These are clear opposites and I have parented both ways! When my perspective gets to the place of felling sorry for myself that I have to keep parenting and don't get to have peace and quiet that is a serious red flag. Compulsion is a state of being forced to do something. Some times when it gets hard at home my attitude goes there. Like God is making me get to be the 10% of women in America that get to stay home with their kids and raise them herself. Oh yeah, poor you Jess! So how do we get willing? Ask God to change you. Call a sister in the Lord ask her to pray for you and give you sound perspective. Its helpful to hear someone else say it out loud some times.
     Next up is not doing this shepherding call for shameful gain. Now this passage is geared towards pastor but totally applicable to us parents. What is shameful gain in my world? Mom points. Yep, you know the ones you get when you post an amazing picture on social media and you get a quick, gratifying, amazing response from other mom's, about how amazing you are and how amazing the life is that you are amazingly providing for your kids. Now that was obnoxious I know but that is the state of my heart at times. Obnoxious! Instead of being present with my kids and going on and doing amazing things with them (because that's the call and nothing out of the ordinary) I crave acceptance and praise beyond the Lord's delight in my obedience. Now you may not struggle with social media in the is way I do. It may be people pleasing or pride in so other way. In Mom currency shameful gain would be a payment for your services to your flock that is anything valued above your Lord saying good job. Side note. I have taken a break from posting real time anything on social media. It has helped me be present and not hover above my life but be in it. I felt the Lord say, "go one and take the pictures cause you love that and then just share it with me. No one on this planet will delight over your kids and family moments as much as I do."
      Alright I think the this is the gem of this whole verse! It has made it on my chalk board to pose as a constant reminder of being Mom God's way. So we don't parents for Mom points but we do this calling eagerly without domineering (lording against) over them. Eagerly is translated to alacrity. Alacrity is: a QUICK and CHEERFUL readiness to do something. Oh sweet Jesus pour this out on us Mom's in abundance.

     So we are to be willing and not domineering over those in our charge. Those in our charge is translated GOD'S HERITAGE. Pieces of wood to be used for building something. That is what happened lately in me. I lost respect for the call. I lost sight of the fact that I have been shepherding, feeding, loving and going on hikes with, sweeping up glitter after, playing the dreaded Mommy Daddy game with, disciplining, signing them up for new experiences apart form me, and raising God's heritage. When I read that it was as if God's gently, warm hands cupped my face and turned it to look straight into His eyes. Now got do it Jess. Yes Lord.

What does HUMBLE look like!

       I have felt this pressing urgency lately to lay aside pointless things. To fill my pockets of free time with seeking God. I know this is God working in me because I don't desire this on my own. On my own I want to veg out and take a break from existing for just a moment. But lately there is a fire in my very soul and spirit. I am passionate about the lost being saved. Tears are filling my eyes as I type. This morning as I wrote in my journal God gave me something. Its not like any expression I have ever been apart of but I think it might encourage someone else. If not I'm excited about the visual as I function well with word pictures. Some times I think Jesus used parables in the bible just for me...not sure I would get what He was saying otherwise.


     I wish I could describe or illustrate it. I so much desire to put it on, in my life, with my people. Humility. Its like a breast plate for battle. It covers me but is not heavy or seen by the carnal eye. It fits my form perfectly even as my form maybe changing. It is not opaque but iridescent. Completely see though accept when the Light catches it just right. Then you see a beautiful shimmer like nothing on earth. It has hues of pink, purple, and yellow. It will not climb out of my closet on its own and strap itself to me. It is my choice each day to pick it out and put it on. I can't reach to fasten the back of course but in the still of the morning You fasten it for me, while singing over me Your songs of deliverance. As beautiful as my armor is, it is just that ARMOR. Armor is for war. In this war there is no blood shed but a much more serious end. It is a war for souls. You have already won but mankind does not get to share in Your victory unless they choose You as King. Your battle plan for me is to LOVE.  There is a battle over the souls in my very own home. The enemy would kill, steal and destroy all that we love. Ready for battle suited in my iridescent armor I will fight for them with You. You, the One who sang and gently strapped me in this morning. Hand in hand we pray and we love my people. Your work is mighty and mine is simple obedient, my friend my King. I hope one day they will give full allegiance to You the One True King. I pray they allow you to strap on and sing over them and in prayer and conduct. I hope they continue the fight long after I'm gone.

ANXIETY OVER FALL

     

     This summer as been a life changing one for me. There is life before this summer and life after. The biggest change that God has done is helped me finally get it. "It is for freedom that He set me free." I have heard and read that truth a million times and still I didn't get the simple life changer in it. If it is FOR freedom that I was set free, and  I am bound up in any area, that is not the point. Jesus said on the cross, "IT IS FINISHED." When I accepted that free gift of Him paying for my sin on that cross, "IT IS FINISHED" is applied to me. The life of a christian is not to get more free, it is to walk out that freedom we have already been given. Good thing God doesn't expect us to do this on our own. After Jesus rose from the dead on the third day He hung out for 40 days. Then He went up to heaven through the clouds. Then the HOLY SPIRIT was sent to live in us. The exact same as Jesus on earth but actually residing in our bodies. This is a big deal people! The Holy Spirit isn't the second best next to Jesus. He is the same!
Now if there is any area of bondage in my life it is as if I pick up heavy, rough iron chains and scotch taped them back on my wrist. SERIOUSLY! No thank you.
       Now when I put it that way of course it sound gross but we do it so much and its a sneaky thing. Its like our hands go to work with that tape with out our heads even knowing it! A whole book could be written on this and I'm sure it has. If I ever wrote one I would title it "Scotch Tape and Iron."
       So, I profoundly realized the freedom I already have in Christ and all summer the Spirit has been ridding my hands of tape and holding them as we walk together the straight way of freedom and grace. This mighty work took place while I was in Headwaters with some dear teen aged girls from my church and Abi. It was a girls trip.

        I asked God what He wanted me to do for the next school year with the kids. (I home educate if you don't know me personally) I have not yet enjoyed home educating for any good length of time but I began to get really excited about it for this year as freedom walked out will only cause all that you do to be more enjoyable for yourself but maybe even more for you people. I want that for them.
        This morning as I sat on my deck with the warm moist air hugging me, my heart was in knots. Weather it is artificial anxiety (due to the time of month) or for real I needed to do some business with the Lord about it. "Lord, the geese are flying away and the school bus just beeped its way through the neighborhood. I want to sit down and bawl." I felt impressed to look up ONCE AGAIN Proverbs 3:5-6. I did. Then I felt nudged to keep reading:

        OK, not being wise in my own eyes right now would look like being content with what God has shown me to do next year. Turn away from evil. I read this part and with lolly pop eyes looked at God like what in my life is evil? Lalalallaal. "NOT TRUSTING ME." What that is actually evil, Lord? "Well its not RIGHTEOUS." Oh sheesh. I confessed and moved on in the scripture. The good part is next, healing and refreshment?! Sign me up! It really is so true. Think about the times you had something really big in front of you. You tried the anxious thing making you sick and then finally leaned your whole weight into God on the matter. The Creator of all that we see,  handles it effortlessly and refreshes you in the process. God's way is always better.
       Now I would love prayer over me to walk this truth out. I feel like an emotional teeter-todder on the matter but am determined to trust God with this next season and for the love, enjoy it too. Thanks!

"Good Little Church Girl"

      So here is my testimony in a nut shell. I went to church with my family growing up. I accepted Jesus in Sunday school and I have had some ups and downs I have basically continued to walk with God since I was a child. I never made any crazy rebellious choices if you compare them to others. I made good choices in high school, I never dated anyone so there wasn't any impurity with boys. I would leave friends houses if they were watching distasteful movies. I mean I was a "good girl." Even into my younger adult years. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Oh, Jess your the one we don't worry about."
    I had always liked being the good girl until I went to Horizon's School of Evangelism right out of High School. They were teaching us one day how to share our testimony in 5 min. If you know me I was like, WHAT!? That didn't seem like much time to me. As I began to prepare to share I realized I don't actually have much to say. Sure, I was molested and God helped me through that but I hadn't lived this wild rebellious life with a super dramatic conversion. For the first time I began to think my testimony wasn't useful for evangelism. It didn't seem as powerful as other people in my class.

      This bothered me but I didn't ever have it settled in my heart. Just accepted it. Then recently I got to go on a trip to Headwaters to visit one of the girls from our church.

She is serving at the CAMP there this summer and I took the girls in her family out to see her. We had such a great time. Before we left I ask God to use me to be an encouragement to them and maybe even challenge them in their walks with Him.

Headwaters area

I think He may have said yes to that but what I didn't expect is how He wanted to use them to encourage me and challenge me in my walk! One of the girls shared on the way up that she struggles with having a boring testimony. She accepted Jesus and has always followed Him. She felt like it wasn't special or useful because it didn't have much to it and that's what God really uses to get peoples attention. I tried to encourage her but I didn't have a very good answer. Truth is I have and still kind thought the same thing about my testimony. I knew this couldn't be true, there can't be testimonies more powerful that other's because that is so us focus and not Savior focused. The whole issue didn't sit well so I asked God for wisdom on it. Here is what I got:
     The reason I didn't think I had a dramatic testimony is that I still didn't get it fully what I have been saved out of. See some of my jealously of people who have really "screwed up" is they get it. They don't seem to struggle with the grace issue like I do. I would read verses like this, Luke 7:47 
Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” and feel like it's not far just because I make better choices and have less to be forgiven of (DANGER!) I don't get to love as much. The problem is that I saw myself as better than a prostitute. Here is the reality. I'm not. Arrogance has kept me from thinking I don't have a powerful testimony. I was looking at the whole thing from a  me perspective instead of a Jesus perspective. No matter how many better choices I made in my life the reality is the same. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). I am NOT a good girl. 
     We in the world put levels and degrees on sin. God doesn't. Do consequences for sin vary well yes and I think that is maybe why we think the gravity of our sin varies with God. Nope. To murder is to transgress or break God's law. To lie is to break God's law and if we break His law/standard in any area we need to be rescued because the sin must be paid for in blood. I have been rescued from Hell. I was headed strait to and eternity of fire and separation from my Creator just like the "bad person." There is no extra measure of grace for those who make good choices. That would be the gospel inside out. There is one choice to be made. Have I acknowledge and believed in my heart and confessed with muy mouth "that Jesus paid the price for my sin? If so, then grace and salvation. 
     Just wanted to share in case anyone else out there had struggled with the same thing. Blessings on your day! 

Gal. 3

10 For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse; for it is written, “Cursedis everyone who does not continue in all things which are written in the book of the law, to do them.”[e] 11 But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.”[f] 12 Yet the law is not of faith, but “the man who does them shall live by them.”[g]

13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”[h]), 14 that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

Mission Lower Cabin

The deck over looks a cleared field hemmed in by trees.
Often you can see deer grazing there

          Paul and I met while serving at YDI's Head Water's Lodge. We both fave crazy stories about how we even got to the camp. You may have seen pictures on my FB of our recent family trip and my girls trip out to Head Waters, VA. For the family trip we got to go back with our kids to the place it all began for vacation! We stayed in the Lower Cabin. There are two cabins that the ministry makes available for FREE for individuals and family's that are in ministry and looking for a place to get away and rest. That is just what happens. When you pull up to the property your soul exhales. Your phone stopped receiving reception several miles back and its almost as if time has stood still in the hills of Highland County.
     You can check out the ministry on there web site HERE if you like. When Paul and I met out at the Lodge we couldn't stand each other then we became friends and well ten years later are living out a wonderful marriage with 3 great kids! We got to go back and visit once before Abi was born and hadn't been back since then.

Our visit 4 years ago. 

We stayed with long time friends the Howdyshell's
who were still serving at the camp at the time.
The guys went frog gigging. 

      The Lower Cabin has a special place in my heart as well as countless others. It was the first place I lived when I moved to the Lodge. I got to be a Doulos leader. Doulos is a program YDI has for

teens that want to serve at the camp during the summer months and be discipled. They work hard and get massive doses of great teaching on God's word. 

     While we were in the Cabin God began a fire in my heart to care for it. I have never before felt a calling to something so tangible as a single building but it can't be ignored. We talked with leadership there at the the camp and were given a full go ahead on doing anything we like to fix it up.
     Its a wonderful little house built in the civil war area. It has modern updates already like running water, functional kitchen and bathroom and even a washer and dryer!
     The things Paul and I would like to do to fix it up would be build railing for the two lofts to make it a safer place especially for family's with small kids. We want to purchase dishes and make some furniture (by we make I mean Paul will make the furniture!). Hang curtains, get some good candles, bed fraims, new mattresses, and maybe even a futon. Maybe hang a few of my scripture PAINTINGS.
     Paul and I have set aside some money but are limited in our finances to accomplish the vision. I wanted to see if there were any that would want to partner with us. Paul and I would do the work we just need help with materials and travel. We would like to get back out there in the fall to start some of the renovations. Any donation would be tax deductible so that is a nice added bonus! We have one other family interested in partnering so we are hopeful God will call several more.
     As we were just out there we know that gas alone is around $300. We can use many materials there for railing but everything else we would like to purchase and bring with us.
     Will you partner with us in fixing up a beloved space for the purpose of being still and meeting with the Lord for refreshment?

If you would like to partner in this work you can send checks to:

Youth Development Inc.
117 Sparrow Lane
Head Waters, VA 24442

Make sure to write in the memo: Lower Cabin

back side of the cabin

upper left is one of the railings that need to be redone and made safer

view from kitchen to living room

Free range chickens. 

living room

living room

kitchen

hall way

upstairs loft

bathroom

Wood fire place was our favorite spot to drink morning coffee

Abi looking of the back deck while Duke
chews on a deer skull. 

This is the upper cabin behind the kids. Not working on that yet
maybe one day 

I took a few shots as we drove to the Miller's Store

Our boys being silly on the deck 

The Shaking Fist

   

     

     Are you familiar with Psalm 139 yet? If not I would encourage you to read it. I have a new friend in China and we are reading it together right now. I have read it memorized and taught it to teenagers and still God is grabbing my attention and teaching me new things. That is just what happens with God's word right! Love it!  

     Have you ever looked at your current circumstances completely disillusioned and thought, "I didn't sign up for this." I have. The thing is our days don't go as planned. We have dreams and goals that don't ever come true or just haven't yet and we fear they never will. My response to this disillusionment in the past has been shake my fist at God and blame Him for not being good enough to give me exactly what I want. Kind of like a spoiled 3 year old. 

     If we are to take God at His word then we have to believe (not necessarily feel) that we are SEEN. He saw us before our own Mom's. God formed our days. That is fancy talk for He has a plan for our lives. Can we mess with His plan by our disobedience and rebellion, AH YEAH! 

     There are so many reasons why our lives don't go as planned. We may have made plans with out checking with God. We may be suffering as result of our own rebellion. We may be in an uncomfortable situation because of someone else's sin (that one is an easy one to blame on God, I know! ). There are many more reasons. 

     Here's how I would like to encourage today. Shaking our fist at God does only one thing. Cuts you off from the ONE SOURCE for help in your current situation. There is not promise of peace from this world. If you have lived long at all you know this to be true. There is nothing that you can do, buy, or experience that comforts for any sustainable length of time. But if we will believe God and what He says about Him self (HE is good and He loves us) and ourselves (we are valuable enough to Him to die for) then we get to grow in peace. 

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

     Now peace is a fruit of the spirit. With much of God's economy we start with a seed, He cultivates it if we choose to abide and then there is fruit for us, God and other's to enjoy. (John 15) 

     Were ever you are at in your growth may I encourage you to ABIDE. Stay connected to the source of growth and peace. 

     

Phil. 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

*A friend of mine wrote on the "I didn't sign up for this" heart. Great read and you can HERE. 

For the STAY HOME Mom

     Hey there. I am hoping to reach at least one other Mom out there. I recently heard that only 10% of women in America choose to make their home their sole place of purpose. This is not a bash the working Mom post by any means. I desire to encourage the ladies that are in my boat, that's all.
     Each family makes their own choices for how they structure their family and income. We chose on engagement that I would stay home just as soon at we had children. I have not "worked" a day since being a Mom. I tried out the home business thing with painting. Loved painting hated the money end of things. We make great sacrifices to stay home with our kids. There is one income and things are tight. We as in you the stay home mom I'm writing to and me. The early years are full of poop, barf and crying. No sleep and and way to much Kipper.

When the boys were 1 and 3

     I was pregnant with the next baby while the current baby was still waking up through out the night. I can remember my husband coming home from work one day.  I was pregnant with Abigail and sitting on the kitchen counter soaked in my own tears. Troy (3) and Bear (1) playing/fighting on the floor.  My answer to what is wrong was simply that I had no idea what to do with them ALL DAY LONG. I look back at that memory with a giggle now. I just hadn't slept in 3 years and I was barfing myself for 9 months. My husband suggested crafts and coloring....if you know me it is strange that I hadn't thought of that myself. It was just the season I was in. Physically taxed and emotionally well, pregnant. Things get easier as we train our kids to help with chores and they have been around long enough to learn that disobedience is in no one best interest. They start understanding big concepts and even develop a sense of humor which is wildly fun and you feel like your not so alone in the day.
     I guess all this reflecting came about as my husband has had a ton of over time (blessing) and everyone including myself decided to get sick. Feeling terrible myself I was up half the night with one only to get them to finally sleep and have another start crying. On my way to that ones room I step in dog vomit and want to just stop and cry myself.

This was the morning after the stepping in barf.
lol. I love this one. I was so physically done! 

ear infection

ear infection 

My spot on the deck. Watching the
rain before the needs begin again

     I have done these seasons in the past my way. Which looks like feeling sorry for myself, wishing to be appreciated or seen and thinking something strange and terrible has happened to me. No. That's just being a Mom. Here is the gem God whispered to me this time around. Isn't it great that doing this is your top priority? Isn't it wonderful that you are not pressured about missing work or people outside your home needing anything from you? Wow! yes that is really nice.
     God has been really slowing me down. Showing me what fruit will last and what won't. This wave of sickness couldn't have come at a better time. It rained all week and we are not stay inside kind of people. I let my kids zone out to video games and movies and didn't feel bad about it for a second! This is growth for me. God even helped me keep up with the home so that we could feel gross in a cleanish environment.
     Mom's that have been blessed with the circumstance to stay home...Enjoy it. Don't miss out by a perspective that thinks there is something better going on somewhere else. There are the really rough moments but if we press into God He will lead us as we lead this next generation in loving Him.

He lost his first tooth today. He got out of bed burst
out to the living room scaring me half to death and
squealed IT CAME OUT! This was such a big deal
as nearly every kid he knows has already lost a tooth.
It was a right of passage of sorts and I didn't miss it.
I was home!