What if I didn't CARE?

     About a month and a half ago I posted how God provided for me to script for FREE! This has been a very exciting development for me with Abide Scripts.
     With the money God gave through my land lord I went out and purchase everything I would need to get going again.

I had run out out of most everything. I had a few orders waiting to be fill so I got to painting right away.
     Something happened for the first time in all my time painting. I COULD NOT SCRIPT! I couldn't write out the scripture pretty or spelled correctly to save my life! The spelling issue has been ever present and God uses it to remind me that this adventure is His to lead. I have gone from extreme embarrassment over it to down right thankful for the constant reminder. Now the not being able to layout the words well or even form each letter properly was new. I would script, mess up, cover over with more background paint and mess up again. Seriously, it was so strange and more so very frustrating. There were many tears and sitting in quiet asking God what in the world was going on.
     One evening I had messed up yet another go at a canvas. I was DONE! The kids were in bed, I got in mine and just stared at the wall. I had gotten to the place that I had asked others to pray for me and knew that there was something going on that was deeper that just messing up. I knew that God had taken away the ability to script for a purpose. When my man got home from work that evening he asked what was up. Cause I'm not really good at pretending things are fine when they aren't. I shared that it was the same thing that it had been. I said, "I am just not able to script." Paul said, "well maybe that is what He wants you to get, that you aren't able to do this with out Him." That sounded right but I honestly didn't think I was trying to do it with out Him. We continued to talk and Paul said lots of other good wise, thought provoking things as he usually does and then went to take his shower. Still on the bed I thought through Paul's challenges of truth and then, what I thought was totally unrelated came to mind. Caring what people think. WHAT!? You see I had also that week exhausted my husband with what other people seemed to think about all kinds of life issues and the anxiety that stired up in my heart as a result. The Holy Spirit whispered you can't care anymore about what other people think. That is not welcome in the new season I AM leading you into with scripting again.
     Let me be clear when I say I am not to care what other's think. This was from God so His command was this: Gal.1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I am trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
I am not talking about an attitude of rebellion, in not caring but more of a putting my care fulling on Christ and not on peoples opinions. This has been a long time miss the mark for me. Something I have habitually struggle with. I believe God was saying enough is enough.
     So I began to think what if I didn't care what people thought and I was consumed with what God thought? I have an entire bible to check to make sure I know what He thinks AND the Holy Spirit to guide me! I felt like my brain exploded! It was time. Time to make that somewhat scary leap to obey in something that felt like it was apart of my personality. Disobeying God is apart of our fallen nature but not our identity in Christ.
     Shortly after the call to stop caring I had this "revolutionary" thought, what if I didn't care about opinions of others more that God in any area of my life? Boom! Oh how slow I am! I am so thankful for God's gracious patience with me.
     I have begun the hard work of recognizing when I very naturally get obsessed with other's opinions, stopping and turning my focus onto God's truth about the matter. You see, God has not called me to simple paint. I am to script His word and pray for the individuals that the canvas is gong to. I can not multi task. I just can't. My brain can only pray or worry not both. Of course this has affected my whole life not just scripting.
     So is there anything in your life that God is making it clear that it isn't welcome in your next season? I implore you get rid of it!

The fallowing pictures are all canvases God has allowed me to paint with a singular focus on Him and praying for the person whose wall it will adorn.

I tried water color for the first time! I love feathers so there are quite
a few of those going on right now

First try at water color EVER!